Letting Go for Today
At the moment I’m in the Maldives. Yes, you read that right. I don’t think I can actually believe it myself!
I prepped this letter to go out in advance, so that it wouldn’t disturb my lazing in the sun, or swimming, or drinking cocktails ;)
I’ve been writing these letters every month for two and a half years now and 30 letters later, I've never missed a single one. Nor have I been even a day late. What can I say? I have an Enneagram line to 1 – the strict perfectionist - and she's still a work-in-progress.
What's been interesting to notice is how the “trigger” aspect of this 1-type has shown up for me this week.
I’ve been fitting in last minute clients, completing lots of admin and also packing house for the big move. It’s been a big week to say the least! And amidst all this I found my old perfectionist nature nagging at me. "Write an article for your tribe". "Do it on Monday". "Ok, then Tuesday". "Still not done? You better get it done today!"
And as the week continued, the packing started making more of a mess, the admin lists grew longer and things just felt like they were spiraling out of control. Oh. And the week definitely got shorter. I've convinced it did.
And yet I STILL had my 1, “the old nag” telling me what I should be doing and must still do, all the while reminding me what a let down I was being.
That’s literally what I had to do.
Breathe. Breathe a few more times.
Let. It. Go.
Might I just give myself a break this once? How possible would it be to just let go this time? No writing. No musings. No pressure.
Maybe just this once it would be ok if I DIDN’T do the “right thing”.
What did little Ms Perfect 1 have to say about that? Well, she kept quiet for a change. And it was so lovely not hearing her voice in my head telling me what I should be doing.
We’re funny creatures aren’t we? The stress we inflict on OURSELVES. The pressure we dump on OURSELVES. The expectations we have of OURSELVES.
It doesn’t matter how many times someone else can tell us to relax, to leave it. The permission has to come from ourselves.
No guilt. No judgment. Just freedom.
So that’s what I’m doing this time.
I’m just saying hi from my holiday. And I’m letting go.